“One of the traits that I’ve inherited from my father is the inability to stop drinking booze after I’ve started (gluttony). Before ye pass judgment, I would like to state for the record that this is not alcoholism. Alcoholism, roughly defined, is a biological, physiological, or psychological need to consume alcohol regardless of an awareness of its negative consequences. This is not me, and this is not my dad. What we celebrate, roughly defined, is a vested interest in continuing to consume alcohol once consumption has begun for the sake of enjoyment and possibly enlightenment, which is very, very different. This consumption will continue until it is stopped by one of the following five factors: unconsciousness, sex (lust), injury, incarceration, or a really big hoagie and/or pile of chicken fingers.”—
I read this book on MY PHONE (which still obviously blows my mind) so I can tell you that it was very funny. Also, it was really interesting most of the book takes place in my neighborhood, literally one block from where I live!
This is the latest I’ve been awake in forever, and I’m in the suburbs so it’s oddly quiet… I’m pretty sure the faint but steady warbling sound I’m hearing is the birds snoring in the tree outside my window
I have to pick up someone from the airport in 10 minutes who may or may not have completely broken my heart and I may or may not br over that whole thing and who I may or may not have spoken to or seen in the past 2 years and I may or may not throw up right now
“What’s also interesting about the kids’ language is that people — mostly academics — have been trying to introduce a gender-neutral singular pronoun into the English language for about 200 years, with very little success. And then a group of kids in Baltimore just make one up and start using it.”
LONDON — The IOC announced today that the Summer Olympics in 2016 will be held in a more hospitable time zone for the people who really matter, the illiterate idiots who run NBC. “Perhaps if we hold the Olympics actually in the offices at NBC, these morons will cover the games…
Open question to the Internet: Why is it apparently mysogynistic of men to get excited about the Olympics women’s beach volleyball because there’s pretty ladies jumping about in tight sport bikinis, when half of the…